The Twelve Days of Christmas for Tiger Woods

On the Twelfth Day of  Christmas the media sent to me:

Twelve lovers ‘fessing

Eleven bloggers blogging

Ten tweets a twittering

Nine irons smashing

Eight movers moving

Seven sponsors wincing

Six jokes appearing

No Wedding ring

Four turning friends

Three wretched weeks

Two child victims

And a Tiger surrounded by sleaze

So has it been worth it?

I wonder, not only about the evidence of ego over will power on the part of Tiger, but also about the self respect that all the mistresses seem to lack.  Is it just me, or are other people equally alarmed that the sheer lack of decency surrounding all the “players” in this game hints at a society that forgives the “other women” and blames it all on the man? Sex is a mutually consentual event, and these women have basically used it as a tool to become famous for fifteen minutes. Kinda sad, not so? They are so hungry for publicity and fame that the closest they can get is sleeping with it and then blabbing to the media (probably for a lovely fat payout).

That doesn’t require effort or talent or brains; just self-interest, a nice body and a pretty face. I can only think of the whole ton of ugly on the inside! Instant gratification for the ego and no thought for the innocent bystanders – the children, the wife, the parents. The stupidity and arrogance of some of the statements are just ludicrous! Take Grubb (good name for her) the cocktail waitress who is dumb enough to think she is a potential replacement for a beautiful Swedish wife. Reality Check! What makes her think that a man who can sleep around with any number of women (including her) while married, is going to be exclusively monogamous to her when the marriage fails? Because she is somehow better than everyone else? How? Her sum talents and qualifications amount to being a drinks jockey and being sexually available! Big whoop-de-doo, join the queue!

I am not being prudish here, I believe marriages fail for all kinds of reasons. What I do believe in is personal responsibility and essentially – style. If you cannot keep your vows and feel it’s okay to sleep around with a whole bunch of random people – then don’t get married and have children. If you are married and have difficulty keeping your vows, then deal with your spouse and children in a fair and grown-up way in order to minimize the pain and keep the children on an even keel. Be fair about it! Your children didn’t ask for this mess!

On the flip side of the coin, if a married man comes on to you (however famous he may be) remember that when it comes out, a whole lot of nasty is coming your way! So say “no thanks” and retain a shred of style and dignity! Even if you have the brain of a goldfish, remember that notoriously dumb dirty-dress girl, Monica Lewinsky? Where is she now?

Going nuts!

The squirrels are looking for me, they think I'm nuts!

Allergies are irritating. One of the worst aspects of having a child with food allergies is realising that the shiny immortality bubble that most kids carry around like a second skin isn’t present in the allergic child. They learn to worry about anaphylaxis and death, they have to carry around anti-histamines and ephedrine injectors, they learn to ask, and as soon as they can read, they read ingredient labels.

As a parent, you can hover and bite your nails, if that makes you happy. But it is more than likely going to send you to the nut-house.  Demanding a nut/wheat/dairy/egg/soy free environment is a road to insanity as well. In America, the K-3 school my children attended  had a partially nut-free policy. All common areas like the art class, media centre and library were totally nut-free zones. The rest of the school was okay except for the classrooms of the children with allergies. In those rooms, the kids who had peanut/nut products in their lunches could not open their lunch boxes in the classroom. All children ate at tables set out in the gym and the allergic kids had a special table apart from the rest of the school.

I know this smacks of segregation, but this issue is fraught with all kinds of emotional reactions, usually from parents: the parents who want their kids to be able to eat peanut butter vs. the parents who are terrified their child will die from the allergy. It has all the makings of an ugly scene or two.

In my opinion, the only solution is education and hard work. The separate table and nut-free zones may seem like hard work, but once the work is done, they are constant reminders to the teachers and students that there are seemingly innocuous things in this world that can be deadly to other people. It is kinetic education on a daily basis. Educate the allergic child to read labels, ask questions and if in doubt – Don’t. Educate the teachers on allergies and when to administer ephedrine. Educate the classmates about allergies and how to avoid killing their friends. Educate yourself so that you plan ahead and actually prepare food from scratch with ingredients you trust.

Part of the hard work for me is getting a nut-free policy of sorts started at the school my children attend in South Africa. Cases of severe nut allergies are increasing in South Africa, of course not in the numbers seen elsewhere, as our population is smaller and in most cases, quite poor, and as reported in the Sunday Times on October 25th this year, allergies seem to be more prevalent in the affluent.

The school advertised as a nut-free school, but they are dancing to a different tune now. There has been a change in tuck-shop management and the people who now run it are clearly woefully ignorant of food allergy issues. They stocked all kinds of peanut laden chocolate bars and when asked to cater for a school function in winter, very cleverly garnished a cauldron full of butternut soup with nuts! Bearing in mind this was a mass catering event, how long do your think the “pretty” addition on the top lasted? Of course it was the soup that my child preferred and of course the server had no idea what the ingredients were. It is only the chance passing of one of the geniuses behind the garnish idea who heard my nut questions that saved us from some very unpleasant consequences.

The furious email that was delivered to all senior management in boxes, probably did more harm than good. I wouldn’t really know, as most of them did not bother to reply and when they did it was with an answer that a politician would be proud of!

I have now made myself super popular by sending yet another round of emails after some nut tartlets were served at yet another school event. Caterers are denying all knowledge of the items, but unless I was hallucinating, they existed and emerged from the catering hatch, so someone is being economical with the truth.

Eventually in an attempt to get some sort of workable policy in place, I made an appointment with the headmaster of the Preparatory School and presented him with a written out plan that could potentially work and not step on the toes of the kids who like peanut butter. I offered my services as an allergy coordinator/implementor of plan and presenter of allergy information to all parents.

As a peace-offering, I created the mug pictured above. I had thought it out and sketched the squirrels after the first nutty email, and did the final finishing in Photoshop before the meeting. My reasoning being that you get further with a smile than you do with a frown.  Wish I had thought of this before I sent those emails. I wish I had known about Nick Morgan’s blog posts on body language so I could have gauged whether the principal was open or closed to my ideas.

The mug is now sitting on the secretary’s desk (note to Headmaster – my spies are everywhere!) which may or may not be a sign that they are receptive to change. There was a lot of humming, haa-ing, ifs, ands, and buts thrown around at the meeting. I hope they are prepared to do some work on this, if not they are going to be driven nuts by me and the squirrels might find them.

Feel like a zombie?

This  October, we are all feeling the pinch of the global economic meltdown, the stupidity of attention seeking parents who use their children as TV bait, and the sheer ludicrousness of the little dung balls of “wisdom” that plop out of a certain Youth leader’s mouth.

It’s in moments like these that I despair for the human race! We live in a country that allows a failed high school student to dictate how they should think – even the president doesn’t get as much air time as this dude does. He decided that the national soccer coach should be fired because the team wasn’t winning games. And LO! Today we get the news that Joel Santana is going (with a platinum handshake). Rumour has it that Carlos Alberto Parreria is going to return (at what cost to the severely struggling tax payers?) But if Julie-baby has his way, Lucas Radebe will be in the unenviable position of being appointed because His Lowness decrees it!

At what point should the population stand up object to the squandering of tax payers money on stuff that doesn’t ultimately benefit the people in need?

Barak Obama gets my sympathy. He is trying his hardest to reform Health Care in the US, but is being met with resistance on all sides.  Our health care innovation in recent times consisted of a minister who advocated root vegetables for HIV treatment.  And now they have sent her off  (probably with a basket of african potatoes, beetroot and garlic like a bloated little red riding hood) to help Caster Semenya. Yikes! If I was Caster, I would be running very very fast in the opposite direction!

There is something somewhat demented in a world that knows a father is an attention-seeking git, yet he and his children get air time on the Larry King show. This after it has emerged that he faked his 6-year old’s peril in a home made hot air balloon, wasted huge amounts of tax dollars on rescue services and is being prosecuted. He should be ignored. By giving him publicity, we are just feeding the beast!

There is something even more demented about a world that wants to send a 6-year old  to a school for troublemakers. Why? Because the cute little dude brought his favourite folding camping cutlery set to school. I can just see him, all bright and shiny and eager to get to school. Ready to show his teacher and friends his most prized possession. Knee jerk reactions from the teacher sent the school board in Christina, Delaware into a tizzy and had them issuing the harsh decree. How dumb can people be?

feel like this?

My kids came home with an interesting fact from school. I don’t know the basis, but it makes sense. They said that despite the recession, candy manufacturers have not been as hard hit as other businesses. It seems that as a low cost item, we still find the money to buy that bag of sweets to make our day a little nicer. With Halloween around the corner, it’s quite heartening to know.

But spare a thought for the poor people of Scotia and Glenville, in upstate New York. This Halloween, they are allowed to go trick-or-treating, but they must be done by 8 pm and porch lights must be OUT by town decree! I kid you not – Check it out here. Makes you wonder if the people of these towns feel a bit like zombies.

Okay, so next time you feel like you are being treated like a brainless automaton – get your zombie shirt out and storm town hall – the only problem being that there are no brains in the building to provide you with sustenance.

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Are you free?

Do you agree?

Not are you in prison?  or  Have you been abducted and kept as a sex slave in a garden shed for umpteen years?

But…

Are you free?

Don’t you think that some are shackled by ideas that keep their minds in chains?

A school in Middle-of-Nowhere, USA has wasted about $700 on t-shirts for their marching band because they depicted the evolution of man as well as the evolution of music. This is one of those daft towns where the school district (yes! Educators who are supposed to be educating!) probably voted not to allow the Theory of Evolution to be taught (or mentioned, or probably even thought about). My favourite stupid quote from the article: “I was disappointed with the image on the shirt. I don’t think evolution should be associated with our school.”  Reading between the lines: Development of  scientifically based theories, advancement in knowledge and thinking outside the religious box are not allowed in Education!

Can we all scream now?

They don’t want to admit that the origin of mankind can be traced back by science… They deny the theories of Charles Darwin as they feel they clash with the concept of creation depicted in the Bible.

If we follow this argument logically then  South Africa must be one of the most anti-biblical countries in the world. And the World Heritage Sites in the Cradle of Humankind are some sort of pagan conspiracy.

One of my favourite quotations: “Only the educated are free” is attributed to Epictetus – A Greek-born Roman slave and Stoic philosopher… He had to know what he was talking about having experienced slavery and freedom.

If you are educated enough to know that sticking to a narrow mindset will get your brain locked away forever… go back to school and thank the teacher who turned the key that set you free… Mr Malema need not bother.

International Teachers’ Day – 5 October 2009

They brew the right ideas - give them the vessel to prove it!